Comments on: Writers Worth: Getting Off the Excuse Train

By: Lori Widmer

Lori Widmer — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 12:45:05 +0000

Devon, exactly! Well said. Not one of us would give advice that we think has to be followed to the letter. What works for me may not work for you may not work for him or her... And you're right -- it's a huge waste of time to give a thoughtful, helpful answer only to have the recipient argue six different reasons (excuses) why it won't work.

Ashley, agreed. It's so important to NOT make excuses! It's so much less about saying thanks -- that's a given. It's more about asking, not listening or even hearing, and firing off excuses like "Oh, I don't need that -- I'm doing fine" or "But I can't do that because...." or "I've been at this for XX years, so I really don't need to..."

Way too limiting an attitude.

By: Ashley Festa

Ashley Festa — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 20:06:49 +0000

This is a great list, Lori. I've asked for help many, many times, and I've learned to be specific in my questions. Not only does it help the person you're asking, but you'll also get better answers! I know what my boundaries and preferences are, and if the advice doesn't work for my situation (I'm SPECIAL, after all ;-) then I just say thanks, because someone took time to offer their help. That's just general courtesy, but as you and others have said, people often want to explain themselves about why they can't/won't/don't want to do something. So they don't say thanks, they offer excuses.

By: Devon Ellington

Devon Ellington — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 19:46:47 +0000

"writers" who ask for advice and then argue with about it are doing more than hurting themselves and being disrespectful and burning bridges -- they are wasting the time of professionals who have taken potential billable hours to answer questions -- without billing. The ONLY acceptable response when you ask the question and get the answer is, "Thank you."

You don't have to promise you'll do whatever they say; you don't have to argue with them. Just say "thank you", think it over, use what works, don't use what doesn't. But do NOT waste a professional's time by arguing or making excuses. Because the next time you waste MY time like that, I'll be billing you at full rate.

By: Lori Widmer

Lori Widmer — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 17:13:00 +0000

Darwin is already working on it, Jake. :)

Thank YOU for the contributions!

By: Jake Poinier

Jake Poinier — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 16:40:44 +0000

Boom! Darwin will eventually have his way with such folks.

And Writers Worth Month was fantastic. Thank you for QBing it!

By: Lori Widmer

Lori Widmer — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 15:35:37 +0000

Paula, I think you've nailed it. These people are DIFFERENT. They're SPECIAL. No, they're SPESHUL. These rules don't apply because they are the EXCEPTION.

Right. I get tired of hearing the same sad excuses. If you're going to contradict and fight the advice you're asking for, stop asking.

By: Paula Hendrickson

Paula Hendrickson — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:20:00 +0000

You know when I use lame excuses? When it comes to avoiding yard work or cleaning the basement. But not for writing. At least I hope I don't.

I've encountered a lot of people who ask for help only to ignore the advice. Many times it is an ego thing - these people want to feel special, so darn special that rules/logic/standards don't apply to them. Or the old "I'm too busy" (something I heard all the time in high school by popular kids who had busy social calendars, one time prompting me to reply, "Oh, I'm so busy doing ACTUAL things that I don't have time to be busy doing nothing, like you."

One friend of mine is one of those excuse makers who wants to be seen as special. She's constantly complaining about sinus headaches, using them as an excuse for being crabby, saying she'll feel better if she lies down for a nap. I said, "That's odd. I get sinus headaches all the time, and always feel better when I'm sitting or standing, so they can drain." Her reply? "MY sinuses are DIFFERENT. They're smaller than average sinuses." I guess they're so different they defy gravity, too. (Oh, I don't use headaches, or anything really, as an excuse to be crabby. Sarcastic, sure, but crabby...never!)

Sure, we all have unique conditions and circumstances. Some people will always use them as excuses. The trick is overcoming our unusual circumstances, unless they actually are valid reasons for not doing something - like not running a marathon because you have a broken leg. But that same broken leg shouldn't stop you from writing or marketing or networking - or sitting on the sidelines cheering the other runners on.

By: Lori Widmer

Lori Widmer — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 13:13:43 +0000

Joy, that's a great system. In fact, t proves that marketing isn't some long, drawn-out process. I once said I spent 15 minutes a day marketing, and I had a few writers say it was impossible. No, it's not. Marketing isn't some complicated thing -- it's reaching out, saying hello, introducing yourself and your skills, and eventually asking for the sale.

Exactly, Sharon! The "Yes, but..." answer is a prime example of someone who will remain stuck. They're not hearing because the excuses are drowning out other voices.

By: Sharon Hurley Hall

Sharon Hurley Hall — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 12:27:30 +0000

Excellent advice, Lori. Turning it around, anytime people says "yes but", it's worth a bit of introspection to figure out what's REALLY holding them back.

By: Joy Drohan

Joy Drohan — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 12:15:30 +0000

Great advice, Lori, as always. I've found the excuse that there's no time to market can be overcome by putting it on the calendar every week in small increments. I can always find a few minutes when my head's not yet into hard-core work to research a prospect or to draft an email. I often use the marketing bit to get myself into real work mode. Also, by putting followup calls and emails on the calendar, they don't slip through the cracks.