Even if criticism is not gentle, I look for the message underneath — "I want you to succeed." Some people give advice like a hammer to the head, but often they mean well. I've had a few instances with well-meaning freelancers who have given it to me straight — really straight. I backed away, licked my wounds, and thought about it. In almost every case, the freelancer was right.

It's that emotional crap that often gets in the way of us seeing it. 🙂

And to Paula's point — yes, it does sting most when the critic is right. If we can take a step back from our pride, we might actually learn something and make some progress.

It's not shameful to be corrected, but it is shameful to refuse to consider that you might be wrong.

They're addicted to complaining. There's one cure for it and they'll never take it — stop complaining and start doing.

Yesterday I tried to give some constructive advice to someone. I wasn't even criticizing, and she hit the roof. The irony? My suggestion was made because this person was unfairly criticizing others for not "fixing" problems they might not even be aware of. "Well, they have eyes. They can see what the problem is."

The issue is a real one: cars, trucks, even school buses speeding up and down a hill near a playground. The catch? The person she expects to be fully aware of this mostly daytime problem doesn't live on or even have a clear view of the street in question, and is gone all day at work, anyway. So my suggestion was obvious: If you're so concerned, just call our community police officer who's phone number is right on the meeting announcement we received last week. Be proactive, contact him directly. She got mad, made excuses, and launched into a tirade about how useless the police are. Really? Really. At the same time I saw the person she expects to fix it walking towards her house, and said, "She's headed your way, maybe you could step outside, say hello and mention the problem." Again, she refused.

Imagine her reaction had I actually criticized her! You know, like telling her the only reason she refuses to tell the people about the problem is because she'd rather complain about their failure to address it than try to fix it.

Love 'throw out sour grapes' too and can think of places to use it in addition to writing.

Cathy, "Throw out the sour grapes." I love it. Good idea to deal with the emotion first. I bitch and moan in private, then it's down to figuring out what to do with the advice.

It's okay to feel the emotion. After all, when it comes to writing, it's your baby. Separate the constructive from the sour grapes or some other hang-up of the person delivering the criticism. Keep the constructive. Throw out the sour grapes. 😉