Allie, you're lucky! If you knew my dear friend, you may think differently. I did at the time, but now I realize that going about my business wasn't really waiting for her — it was doing my own thing and letting her do hers. Can't say it didn't drive me mad at times, but I accepted it as part of who she is. That said, I wasn't about to enable it – a few times I went on without her. You can't wait indefinitely.

Paula, your former BIL was on Indian time. 🙂 That's what my friends from India say — it's considered extremely rude in their culture to be right on time. As one friend said, if the invitation says 6 pm, you'd better not arrive before 7 pm.

It can be disrespectful, I agree. I just don't think in every case it is. In some cases, it's just the inability to budget time. I will say in more than enough cases, it's just downright rude and insensitive. But if it's a client, I charge a toleration fee. 🙂

I have a friend who intends to arrive at a stated time, but tends to get distracted by other things. At least she calls if she thinks she'll be late. (A couple months ago she shocked me by showing up exactly on time!)

My former brother-in-law was always late. He lives in the moment and loses track of time. We started telling him to be places an hour early, and he was still late. He had no idea how disrespectful he was being.

I can't stand it when people schedule an interview (sometimes after rescheduling it several times), then keep me waiting 10, 15, 20 minutes. My rule is: after 10 minutes I check in and ask if they need to reschedule. That usually prompts them to call.

Cathy and Devon were right: chronic lateness is disrespectful. So is expecting people to drop everything and rework their schedule at the last second. Another friend of mine does that all the time. Not just with me, but with everyone. Everything has to suit her timetable. A few months ago she called after her workday was over (at 4:30) to see if I wanted to go someplace. I apologized, saying I was still working, on deadline, otherwise I would have gone, and thanked her for thinking of me. It happened again, about a month later. I told her that with a little advance warning, I can sometimes work things into my schedule, but last-second invitations are easy to accept. She's used to people catering to her whims, so it didn't go over well. Guess what? I don't really care.

As you might imagine, I heard a lot of squabbling as a kid. Perhaps as a result, I try to split the difference, though I have to fight my paternal genes more than I like to admit. And I'm pretty forgiving of client who are a couple of minutes late — and yes, charging them for the time surely takes the sting out of it.

In some cases, I do see it as a sign of disrespect. Not always, though. My dear friend, for example, is just unable to budget her time. Never could, even as a kid. I cut people a little slack when I realize their chronic lateness is more damaging to them than to me.

Clients, however, are charged when I'm left waiting. It was one of the factors that eventually led to the client I mentioned and me parting ways. If I'm expected to be somewhere at her request, she'd better be there, too. Otherwise, she pays for my lost time. She did, too. Didn't change her behavior, but it made my having to wait much more tolerable.