There is a familiarity and trust using "we" — I agree, Kim. Good observation.

Devon, thanks. 🙂 Clients want to have confidence in us — why not give it, I say?

Paula, it's like Terri Gross's example to the crowd at a talk she gave at my college. She said that sometimes the interview subject is difficult and you can't get along with them. Then she played a clip of her now-infamous interview with Gene Simmons. He answered her honestly and with a rawness that was suitable a rock star. Her reaction was what was offensive — she lit into him because he described his approach to female friendships as "open arms, open legs." She immediately labeled him a sexist. Three other women in that talk said what I said — he wasn't offensive at all, but her reaction was unprofessional.

Listening is a skill few people possess anymore. I think the quest of immediate gratification is a contributing factor – people are so quick to insert their views that they don't let the speaker finish his or her thought.

Self-absorption is another reason people don't listen. Case in point: A couple months ago a radio host played part of an "interview" some so-called reporter had with Tommy Lee Jones. Jones isn't a big talker, so he's not known for being a great interviewee (the same is true of a lot of people – famous or not). They played the tape to show what a "bad interview" Jones was, but to my ears Jones did nothing wrong. The "interviewer" talked at him half the time, and when he finally asked a question it was a yes-or-no question. If you want someone to elaborate, ask open ended questions – then shut up and let them answer.

Yup, "we're all in this together" often works better than any other approach.

I totally agree with your tip about using "we" instead of "I" or "you" when dealing with clients. I think using "we" instantly creates familiarity which helps build trust and confidence in your professional ability.

Good question. I use something similar. I have a set of project questions once they are dazzled enough to offer me the gig. 😉

Using "we" isn't hard, and it sends the message that "we" are already partners. Half the battle.

The questions are great. I use the second one religiously. Another that works is "If your ideal client could hear this message, what would that person look like and what would you hope they hear?"

I know what you mean by toning down the enthusiasm. Sometimes in the beginning, I'd hear myself and thought I sounded like the dog, quivering with the need to please.

I just naturally fall into the use of we. And you are so right about listening.

Ask them questions about their business to show interest – e.g., what would you say your business is best known for (if it fits)or tell me about your business. What are you hoping to accomplish with this project?