I see it as you do – they hate their jobs, and maybe they're sporting a large dollop of insecurity and fear.

I cut my dead wood for sure! And I proved him wrong. As they say, living well IS the best revenge. 🙂

Jake, good for you. You understood his confusion, which was nothing personal by the sounds of it. To him, structure was everything. to you, structure was there on YOUR terms. How much greater is that?!

Till the day he died, my father-in-law would ask me, "So, when are you going to start your own business?" I'd just smile politely and nod, knowing that a PhD who worked for corporations his whole life couldn't possibly comprehend how well a free spirit like me was doing at my chosen path.

Most people who pull that crap are in jobs they hate and don't have the guts to change. No patience for them.

And when those around you try to bully you into doing something wrong for you by calling it "responsibility", time to cut the deadwood from your life, even when they're related to you.

In order to survive as a freelancer, you need a touch of ruthless along with the inner fire Jake mentioned.

That very talk – the "Look for a real job" stuff – was the reason I decided to be a freelancer. Call me contrarian. 🙂

I often wonder about outside pressures.How many aspiring writers never go for it because of others telling them to look for a "real job"? How many are told to stop dreaming and face reality? I don't hear that as much anymore, but I still do on occasion. It hurts, but then again, who cares what they think?

Then there's the flip-side. It goes along with your writer-by-proxy point. They write a letter to the editor of their local paper and it gets published. Now, they're a writer. I wrote a Haiku poem in 6th grade (or something like that) about a slingshot and it was published, along with a few others, in the local paper. Therefore, that must make me a poet. LOL!

They stick in their comfort zone, which has gotten them where they are – at a dead end. One little step over into a new area can free up so much, but so few are willing to try.

Jake, we had someone like that in our last writer's group. She'd read stories, we'd interject our points, and her response was usually "Oh, I'm not going to send it anywhere anyway, so it doesn't matter." Not exactly the entire point of a writing group…

I'm reminded of a popular sign in a lot of the Old West-style bars around here: "NO SNIVELING." That pretty well sums it up for me.

I have a friend who's a perfect example of your final bullet. She likes to write (actually she LOVES it, which I honestly don't), and she craves the idea of being a writer…but she lacks the cojones to truly make the hobby-to-business transition. I've tried to counsel her gently, because she's a sweet, thoughtful person, but nothing replaces internal fire.

Fuck your process. "Process" has become a buzzword for doing things only one way and never trying anything new.

First day in class, I tell them we're throwing THEIR process out the window, they're playing in my sandbox for the duration, and we're trying new things.

Most of them who ask for advice and throw it back in your face are the ones who don't really want to do the work.

You don't have to accept advice if you believe it doesn't work for you. But you DO have the obligation to be gracious and say "thank you" if someone has taken the time to answer your question.

Paula, I think you're right. It's the feeling that "I'm here – share because I deserve it" attitude. I've been fortunate not to know anyone like that, but it does happen. I have a degree, too. I started at the beginning just like everyone else.