Comments on: Me and My Shadow

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 11:43:23 +0000

There's a good one, Cathy! Sharing successes and failures. That's a good mentor.

Paula, I'd have him edit that out, too. Ridiculous.

Wendy, excellent point. Mentors give advice - they don't do the work for you. And ANYONE who pulls out a cell phone in the middle of another conversation is just plain rude.

Jake, I suspect we are more comfortable formalizing things, but I have to say my mentor relationships were more of the variety you mention. I wasn't sure I had a mentor, but in retrospect I found several.

I think it's particularly important for beginning writers to filter through people who are willing/able to give advice, not just anyone with a weblog.

By: Jake P

Jake P — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 20:05:52 +0000

I've never had an official mentor, nor served as one, but looking back on my career, both types of relationship are evident in retrospect. I've often wondered if women are more comfortable with the concept of formalizing a mentor/mentee relationship, whereas guys just "let it happen."

And I agree 100% with Paula about how teaching something reinforces your understanding and appreciation of it. Same thing with coaching a sport.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 17:03:42 +0000

A good mentor is all the things mentioned in the post and in comments. But, it's important to note that getting a mentor is not a guarantee to finding jobs. They're not there to hand you work. They'll guide you in the right directions and cheer you on, but they'll expect you to have enough drive to do something with the tips and advice given. Otherwise, you're wasting their time and yours.

Also, a good mentor doesn't take on too many mentees at one time. (unless some of them are in later stages) A Mentor needs to be able to put their focus on the allotted time spent with their mentee.

I helped create a mentoring program for new mentors in a particular company. I evaluated one new mentor, who was observed taking a cell phone call (to talk to someone else about a movie they saw the previous night) in the middle of a mentoring session. Then they tried to finish the mentoring session while still talking on the cell phone. I was having none of that.

If you're allotted a specific time frame to talk with a mentor, (like a half-hour session on the phone or a certain number of emails)then you have the right to have their attention during that time. Of course, emergencies are different.

A good mentor/mentee relationship works when there's give and take from both sides.

By: Paula

Paula — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 15:36:53 +0000

While I've had plenty of compatriots to commiserate with, and a few editors who've given a good tip or two over the years, I've never had a mentor.

That said, I've served as an unofficial mentor to a handful of writers. The interesting thing is offering advice and constructive criticism to others really inspires me to follow some of my own advice.

I was able to help one of these writers after he joined LinkedIn. He'd been writing a blog for a local newspaper, and when he asked the editor for a recommendation, she included the unnecessary fact that it was unpaid. When I saw it I suggested he ask her to edit that out, since it made both of them look bad. She changed it. (Yes, I reminded him they were taking advantage of him.)

By: Cathy

Cathy — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:34:21 +0000

Someone who helps you find your own way. They support, but do not tell you, "Do it this way."

Someone who shares your successes and failures.