When I'm at fault, I have no problem giving a humble apology. It's not always accepted, but that's okay. I still did my part.

Kim, that's great! I know I've heard people say "You can apologize all day long as long as the check is on its way to me", but an apology really does help. Mind you, if there's an apology and NO action, that's just empty words.

Ouch, Cathy! Likewise me – when this guy called, I thought it was because of the invoice I'd forgotten to send. I was ready to apologize for wasting his time.

I am bringing my red-faced self over here after sending a follow-up to a client for the green light for a project.

I require 50% upfront and had not received payment. I was professional and all that, but imagine my embarrassment when the client pointed out that I had not sent the Statement of Work that triggers the deposit.

I had the Statement of Work. I just neglected to send it. Can you spell distracted? Oops-sorry! 🙁

I once wrote a couple of articles for a magazine editor I'd worked with for two years with no payment issues. Suddenly he wasn't responding to my emails or phone calls. Eventually I got in contact with him by phone and he sincerely apologize admitting he's been avoiding me, revealed that the publication was having financial issues but promised to mail my payment immediately. Even though I was beyond irritated and frustrated with him, I appreciated that he didn't try to BS me with a bunch of excuses – he just admitted he was wrong and paid me. I got my payment just as he promised.

I'm one of those people who apologizes for being in the way when someone steps on my toes. Naturally, when there is cause to apologize, I apologize.

A year or two ago I queried a prominant specialty writing magazine (unavailable at newsstands anywhere near my area). I'd searched their online archives to see if they'd covered the writer I wanted to pitch, read other profiles to get a feel for their style. I'd done my homework. I sent my query and the editor replied, rather curtly, that apparently I wasn't very familiar with their magazine, since they'd just covered the guy.

I was surprised, and stung. I knew ignoring her comment wouldn't do any good, so I sent an immediate apology. That thing Devon dreads came true…she neither accepted nor acknowledged my apology. She ignored it. That exchange left me feeling that she now owes me an apology for being rude, snippy and ungracious.

I got my revenge by becoming a regular contributor to their direct competition where the editor is smart, respectful and easy to work with.

Devon, exactly, The "if" or "but" statement never belongs in an apology. I lived with someone who, for 17 years, would say, "I'm sorry but…" I didn't include the comma there because he didn't, either. It was a continuation of thought "I'm sorry but really I'm not because in some way it was your fault, not mine." His go-to line was "It's both our faults." Never mind the grammar nightmare – the whole sentence is just flawed.

It's a risk we take, not having our apology accepted, isn't it? I sent one to my dying lost love – one line "I am sorry." I didn't qualify it. He knew what I was sorry about – all those years where we both had to live with bad decisions. I hope he accepted it, but even if he didn't, I'd said it. I think an apology, whether accepted or not, brings us back to a place where we can feel unleashed from bad feelings, guilt, anger, etc.

Regarding apologies — I'm always glad to accept them if they are sincere and unqualified. I don't want excuses or "if I made you feel bad" or "if you misunderstood me" keep the IF out of it. Either you did or you didn't, or I did or I didn't.

When I proffer apologies, there is always the concern they won't be accepted. There is just that segment of the population that can't accept a sincere apology and rebuild from there. They want pain, punishment, and groveling.

I am more than willing to make right a mistake, but I am not willing to denigrate myself or be abused in the process.

I try to remember that when I get annoyed at those who don't apologize — perhaps they've tried in the past, and, instead of an acceptance and a rebuilding, they were met with abuse.