Comments on: Why I’ll Always Be a Girl

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 11:41:06 +0000

Oh, no worries, Jake. I didn't take it seriously – your tone suggested you were being playful. 🙂

By: Jake P

Jake P — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:57:39 +0000

Thanks for the link, Lori; I was curious enough to search out the story since I'd obviously missed out on something good! More than anything, my comment was snarking on myself for being ignorant of the goings-on within the writer-community loop–should've added a /sarc tag 🙂

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 12:25:05 +0000

Jake, try this:
"http://www.copyblogger.com/james-chartrand-underpants/"James Chartrand And no, it's not a women-only thing – it hit the entire writing community.

Sounds like an eye-opening discussion, Anne. I think it's a super idea to turn things over and examine the bottom sometimes.

By: Anne Wayman

Anne Wayman — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 23:56:56 +0000

Love it that the James Chartrand controversy has already fallen off the scope... I didn't understand the upset either.

Like you, I'm a girl... always have been, always will and I enjoy that... but you ask about giving up a bias...

Years ago I took some Beyond Racism training given through Universal Unitarians... the question that moved me the most was "what, as a white person, is it like to be white?" That shook me and still shakes me and still informs my view of myself and my world.

It's been a journey to see myself as a member of the dominant culture.

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 19:51:13 +0000

Wendy – that's so funny, considering the further south in Illinois you go, the more Southern twang replaces the Midwestern twang. (I'm about as far north in Illinois as you can get without being a Cheesehead.)

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 19:18:04 +0000

Paula, my sister lives outside of Peoria. That's where I usually run into that problem. Some don't have a problem with it. They just ask me to repeat something they didn't understand, but quite a few jump to the conclusion that I'm I must know Jeff Foxworthy or something.

Lori, I take a different approach. I just throw on my trucker's hat and say, "Get 'er Done" and then go into my spiel based on the conversation I'm having.

By: Jake P

Jake P — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 18:45:37 +0000

For starters, I'm going to confess that I had no idea what the "James Chartrand" reference was--am I the only one in the entire writing community who didn't know the story? Or, is it a story that made the rounds within the womenfolk, but us menfolk (and yes, I'm 100% guy) got left off the mailing list? Hmmm.

To me, the bias that all of us need to overcome on a regular basis is the freelancers-aren't-businesspeople bias. You're right on: Taking a stand on the questioned invoice, and refusing to be a victim, speaks as much to that as it does about any gender issues!

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:29:10 +0000

"If you expect a bias, you'll see one, even if it's not really there." Exactly, Paula. Even if it's not there, you create the reality.

Love your examples - proof that we create it in our heads sometimes.

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:27:06 +0000

Devon, that's an interesting observation! I think you're right - at the core, it's the same person. The gender, or the perception of gender, shouldn't make any difference.

Susan, I've seen a few of those bloggers who talk out both sides of their faces. You're so right - you can't always know someone who's busy projecting an opposite image to the real one. We're all multi-faceted, so I think it would be tough to imagine that one facet represents the whole.

Wendy, I think you've just made my argument above. I'm from redneck country (and rather proud of it). I'm also a girl specializing in a male-dominated, technical industry. Want to see heads spin? Watch someone the first time I bust out the risk management talk with my western PA accent while wearing fabulous shoes and makeup. LOL You'd think they were witnessing a small miracle.

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:25:20 +0000

As an Illinoisan, I found Wendy's comment interesting. No one I know considers a Minnesotan accent in any way redneck. We might flash back to the movie Fargo, but that's about it.

Almost everyone has preconceived notions of some sort. It's human nature. The key is not caring what others assume you to be. Just be who you are. My grandma taught me that by example, and we grew up without much gender bias.

If you expect a bias, you'll see one, even if it's not really there. Like the friend who gets upset if a guy holds a door open for her. Instead of seeing it for what it is - a polite gesture - she interprets it as insinuating she's incapable of opening the door for herself. (She actually said that!)

In college, I was entering the library and someone was behind me, so I held the door open as I always do when someone is right behind me. The person happened to be in a wheelchair. And they (can't remember if it was a he or she) yelled at me for holding it open. "I don't need your help!" I said, "I was just being polite." As I let go of the door I said, "You're not so special - I would have held it open for anyone."