Comments on: Disturbances

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:21:43 +0000

Becky, worse is the feeling that he may not remember me in the same way I remember him. Doubtful, but it's possible. Lots of time has passed. Doesn't really matter, though. He was special to me whether I was all that to him or not. I tend to honor those types of relationships.

By: becky @ misspriss

becky @ misspriss — Tue, 18 May 2010 17:09:56 +0000

Oh Lori, I'm so sorry about your friend. Sometimes it's tough to distract ourselves. I tend to want to sleep, or get out of the house & distract myself in some way. And talking to friends helps, too.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 17 May 2010 20:31:01 +0000

I started using the "hide" button on facebook when a friend's sister started posting status updates about her father's stroke. It was a horrible way to receive such major news. I don't want to find about the major illnesses, tragedies, engagements and pregnancies of people I love through facebook.

Facebook seems to have a tendency to erase the idea of tact.

By: Lori

Lori — Mon, 17 May 2010 19:42:31 +0000

Eileen, that's the weird part. All these ideas for poems came flooding in. I can't put them on paper right now, but they're there burning up the psyche. But client projects were not getting done on Wednesday.

Jen, it's true. the day off made a huge difference. I had to get away from the computer (and Facebook). It helps also that my husband is great. He let me talk through it and listened.

Cathy, I haven't been part of his life in 30 years, but I feel so connected. It's his dad - his dad is the reason.

Gabriella, dogs are just as important. I mourned for weeks when my dog died.

Sorry you missed it too, Jenn! We'll get together soon.

Thank you everyone for the wishes and prayers. Aim them toward him - he needs them much more than I do.

By: Eileen

Eileen — Mon, 17 May 2010 18:27:03 +0000

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. When I'm trying to process bad news, the very last thing I can do is concentrate enough to write. Exercise helps a little, but most of all, for me, it helps to just "do the next thing." And then the next one. That little mantra always seems to get me through a crisis.

By: Kimberly Ben

Kimberly Ben — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:35:51 +0000

Oh no, I missed Writer's Worth Day! I can't believe it.

Lori, I'm so sorry for you and your friend. I agree with everyone who has suggested taking a break if you can to just deal. You're in my prayers.

By: TheNormalMiddle

TheNormalMiddle — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:30:30 +0000

We make plans, and then life happens. I've learned that lesson more times than I'd like...

Praying for your friend and you both!

Lindsey

By: Jenn Mattern

Jenn Mattern — Mon, 17 May 2010 15:29:34 +0000

First, I'm sorry I missed out on writer's worth day.

But I'm much more sorry to hear about your old friend. I'm sure his family will appreciate you making the effort to see them in their time of need.

As for dealing with distractions, I do much like you did -- I just get out and away from it all for a while.

By: Sarah Nagel

Sarah Nagel — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:51:03 +0000

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, Lori. I hope you find some peace and comfort during this tough time.

I find that talking to a dear friend always helps. It may not fix the problem, but feeling less alone can make a huge difference.

Sending you all my best.

By: Gabriella F.

Gabriella F. — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:22:00 +0000

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Lori.

I know dogs aren't people, but that malaise is how I've felt with my sick dog for several months. For me, the lesson has been that sometimes I just have to give in to my sadness.

As Jennifer said, I've sometimes tried to force myself to work, but if I don't have a deadline staring at me, it won't work. So I've conceded defeat and given myself the rest of the day off.

I think the lesson is to be kind to yourself. If you need time and don't have to work--don't. Take the time to do something that will bring a smile to your face, and then don't regret the smile.

Hang in there. We all know whereof you speak!