Comments on: Worthy Tip: Man Up

By: Lori

Lori — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:43:10 +0000

Nice seeing you here, Laura! How've you been?

I think it's more of adopting a stronger attitude. Any way to practice in email conversations? That was how I broke through the barrier.

It helped that I was a single mom for a while. When there's no male backup in the house, you have to take on that role, too. That means dropping emotion, stating firmly what you expect, and backing that up with consequences. Move that over to writing - drop the fears and other emotions, state firmly your rate, and walk if you need to.

I still want to be like Devon - the Demon Contract Bitch from Hell. :)

By: Laura Spencer

Laura Spencer — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:25:09 +0000

Great post Lori!

For some reason, negotiations are tough for me too. I even know what I should do, but even with this knowledge I still hesitate sometimes. It's a struggle to be more confidant and assertive.

It never occurred to me to adopt a male persona, but the James Chartrand story was a bit of an eye opener. I always just assumed that I was having the same struggles in this area that men do.

One thing that helps me is encouragement. I keep a little file whenever anyone makes an encouraging remark. Then, if I'm feeling wimpy I can pull it out and remind myself that I AM worth it.

Best wishes to all your lady readers!

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:55:56 +0000

Now Nikki, go out there and state what you're worth, woman! You ARE worth it. Why? Because you've made money at it and dammit, you have talent. And while you're at it, post more to your blog. I miss hearing what you're up to. :)

It's because you're a professional, Wendy. I've been called all sorts of names. I know writers who have had their sexuality questioned because the poser-client didn't like the idea of paying the bill. Sticks and stones. Only difference is my stone is a legal one - my invoice and accompanying contract. That's going to hurt a LOT more than some schoolyard antics.

Way to go, Paula! Don't feel arrogant - feel as though you deserve respect.

By: Paula

Paula — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:14:27 +0000

Good timing, Lori. Just yesterday I sent off a quick e-mail in response to a website wanting articles on a specialized topic I write about a lot. While they paid 10-to-30 times what content mills pay, some of the stories they wanted seemed like a lot of work for little pay. But knowing I had contacts and knowledge in place, and might even be able to re-purpose some recent interviews to lower my time commitment, I decided to contact the editors. I didn't send a query as requested, since I didn't want to waste precious time on something they might not want. I just sent a quick e-mail outlining my experience and offering a link to my LinkedIn profile. I said I'd be happy to approach my contacts about specific topics if I knew exactly what they needed.

After I sent it, I was awash with this feeling that my e-mail would come across as arrogant. I kinda doubt a man would have felt that way. After reading your post, I'm not feeling quite so arrogant. After all, I've worked long and hard to establish these contacts and a reputation in a very specialized field. While this place doesn't pay very well, I thought I could knock some insightful pieces off fast enough so my hourly rate was still acceptable.

We'll see.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:19:47 +0000

Life experiences sure can make you stronger. I have been called just about every name you could conjure up by a lot of people in my life.

Now, when a client gets angry and uses "colorful" language with me, I don't take it personally. Even if it was meant to be personal. I can give a polite response with whatever the situation warrants and move on with no regrets.

By: Nikki

Nikki — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:08:28 +0000

4 years later and I still struggle with the negotiations or rather, lack thereof. Most times I just don't bother with negotiating or I will simply not take on that project.

By: Lori

Lori — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:34:32 +0000

Devon, I strive to emulate you. LOL!

Great idea, Eileen!

By: Devon Ellington

Devon Ellington — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:24:22 +0000

My experience as a union negotiator has helped me enormously.

And, after all, my nickname is The Demon Contract Bitch From Hell.

I resemble that remark.

By: Eileen

Eileen — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:03:01 +0000

Confidence in quoting fees has come with time and practice. But when I was first starting out, a friend and I would role play quoting our fees with each other. It helped a lot. What's funny to me now is that I wouldn't even turn my computer on today for the fees I nervously stuttered over back then.