Comments on: Worthwhile Tip: Stop Apologizing

By: Lori

Lori — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:08:18 +0000

Codependency - that's it! There's just something that says "I'm sorry I exist" about apologies before you've done something to apologize for.

Kathryn, sometimes they probably want to hear the qualifiers. Makes them realize you're not just overly confident. Did it work for you?

Hang in there, Paul. Work will come. :)

By: Georganna Hancock M.S.

Georganna Hancock M.S. — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 21:34:35 +0000

Thanks for your recent comments, Lori, at A Writer's Edge. I don't always reply [bad, bad blogger!] because of a lack of time or something to say.

I always apologize when a client is unhappy with something about my work (even if it is the client's fault). Seems to be a good business practice for me. The last time I did, it was for taking much longer than I had estimated editing a manuscript. Result: the client added a bonus to the last payment (the one that comes right before I deliver the goods).

However, I am with you about apologizing in advance. Or always, about everything. That's not only counter-productive, it's also a sign of codependency, and no one needs to advertise their personality problems.

*removes psych hat*

By: Paul

Paul — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 19:19:32 +0000

I can't wait to hear some of those. I'm still working on getting an actual job but until I do, thanks for the insights you give here.

By: Kathryn Magendie

Kathryn Magendie — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 18:50:27 +0000

I used to add qualifiers, which are sort of apologies! But I don't know – I acknowledge that I work dang hard at my craft, worked hard to be published, work hard to be published again – yup, no more apologies!

love this post….

By: Lori

Lori — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:33:19 +0000

Journaling Woman, LOL! Thanks. 🙂

By: Journaling Woman

Journaling Woman — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 07:27:33 +0000

Good advice. I don't believe I say I'm sorry too much...if so...sorry. Kidding.

Really helpful post.

By: hugh.c.mcbride

hugh.c.mcbride — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 02:45:29 +0000

A little late to the party on this one (and ever-so-slightly off topic), but I thought this was an interesting recent example of the power of a real, appropriate & successful business-based apology:

http://www.openforum.com/idea-hub/topics/the-world/article/the-art-of-mea-culpa-guy-kawasaki

By: Daniel Dragomirescu

Daniel Dragomirescu — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:29:06 +0000

Your blog looks good. Congratulations. I invite you to contribute to Contemporary Horizon, an independent and multicultural magazine, with your writings. Thanks.
Daniel D. Peaceman, writer and editor
E-mail: drgdaniel@yahoo.com

By: Lori

Lori — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:10:24 +0000

Lillie, that's a great story! I would've done the same, felt the same, and worried about the same. :)

Devon, it's a good sales approach - if they remember to add the second part showing HOW they can still do the job. ;)

Wendy, Cheryl, I remember doing it and thinking it, so I think you have plenty of company!

Carson and Paula, depending on the circumstance, it could be to one's advantage, but it's going to be a rare thing. I'm talking about people who start off with "I'm sorry for taking in the same air" kind of statements. I'd much rather hear "I'm eager to tackle this topic - it sounds like something I'll love learning about." It says "I don't know" without screaming amateur.

Great approach, Sara. When I started writing insurance articles, I called experts and said, "This is all new to me - educate me." They LOVE talking about their industries!

No trouble from me, Yo. I've seen the same thing. And it's so frustrating! When I was doing resumes, I noticed a trend - the women with 20 years experience were hesitant to go for the management positions that men with 5 years experience were demanding. I remember having to talk one woman into aiming higher! And I agree - be upfront. The best way I know how is what I said to Carson and Paula - just be eager to learn and confident about trying.

Amen, Katharine!

By: Katharine Swan

Katharine Swan — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:19:47 +0000

Devon, that's exactly what I was going to suggest! It's all about the delivery. :o) If you say, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any experience in that area," the client is going to hear, "not experienced." If you say what Devon said, it shifts the focus onto something positive — and no apology is needed.

Carson is right — apologies can be used to your advantage — but NOT if they make the client's mind focus on something negative about you.