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Writers Worth: This Job Not That Job – Words on the Page

Words on the Page

a freelance writing resource.

Writers Worth: This Job Not That Job

Sometimes, I want to hold up my hand and say “Just. Don’t.”

That was my reaction when I had a bit of free time and decided to waste it on Craig’s List. Emphasis on the “waste” part, for I went looking for gigs that would be perfect for This Job Not That Job, and guess what? I had to choose among several candidates.

These days, it takes a little something “speshul” for a job to really stand out as shitty — there are just so many wretchedly bad job postings.

This one ticked off many boxes, and ticked off yours truly. Without further adieu, I give you the next installment in the far-too-long list of This Job Not That Job contenders.

Freelance Writers Needed (Any)

Enjoy the freedom from searching for work on your own.
If you have great writing skills and would love to get paid for your writing while working from home, then this might be the job for you. This can easily turn into a long-term position.We are looking for part-time, freelance writers who can:
1. Follow instructions
2. Write meta descriptions
3. Meet deadlines
4. Write with excellent grammar and an engaging voice
5. Perform first-rate research
6. Complete between 10 and 40 articles per week
Our clients order writing that includes SEO articles, blogs, product descriptions, website content, and magazine articles. We are looking for writers who can write in all these formats or who can learn what they don’t know quickly. The most important part of this job is having an engaging voice, flowing, well-researched writing, and meeting client instructions to the letter.

Payments occur via PayPal. Contractors are expected to submit an invoice which we pay within 15 business days.

If you wish to apply for this job, please email us regarding:
• Your experience and education,
• Days and hours you want to work, and
• How many 500 word articles you can complete each day or week.
Please be prepared to follow the instructions of a sample article if your proposal is accepted so that we can judge your ability to follow instructions, self-edit, write, and get a feel for your voice. This will be a paid sample article. Please attach work you have completed in the past so that we may use that as a basis for selecting your proposal.
To make communication faster, please include your email address in your response. We will then contact you to do a paid sample.

compensation: $6.50 per 500 words
employment type: part-time
I included the full description because … well, because why should I be the only one with the migraine? Actually, it’s because the wording in this is just so typical. So let’s do this like a primer on how to spot a really shitty deal that’s had a bow slapped on it.
First we have The Promise:
Enjoy the freedom from searching for work on your own.
They just promised you they’d find work for you. Or that you’ll be too rich to care. Betting on that first one, though.
Then the Second (and Third) Promise:
If you have great writing skills and would love to get paid for your writing while working from home, then this might be the job for you. This can easily turn into a long-term position.
Honey, if you have “great writing skills” you’re not on Craig’s List looking through shit offers like this one. And look there — they’re promising long-term work before you even apply. How special of them.
The Switch:
We are looking for part-time, freelance writers
Wait. Didn’t they just say “long-term position” in the last sentence? Hmm. Must be my eyes failing me.
The Clue:
1. Follow instructions
Why is that a clue? Because a professional writer wouldn’t have to be told to follow directions. You’re competing with beginners and people who cannot stick to task.
The Next Clue:
3. Meet deadlines
Yep. Definitely competing with amateurs.
The Loophole:
Perform first-rate research
If anything is true about these so-called jobs, it’s that the posters always have a loophole. You know, it’s that thing that allows them to say “Sorry, you didn’t do the job EXACTLY as directed, so no pay for you.” That “first-rate” research sounds very much to me like they’re expecting you to dig into paid research sites to find things that aren’t readily available with a Google search.
The WTF Requirement:
Complete between 10 and 40 articles per week
Wait. Ten articles a week is insane. Forty? Do you think you’re going to sleep? This isn’t creating anything other than agita and nightmares for you.
The Laughable Requirements:
If you wish to apply for this job, please email us regarding:
• Your experience and education,
Education? You want someone with anything better than a 4th-grade education to apply?
Days and hours you want to work
Doesn’t matter what you put here — you’ll be working 24/7. 
How many 500 word articles you can complete each day or week.
How about two? Two is more than manageable. Maybe even three, but any more than that and the quality will suffer. Oh wait, I forgot. Quality isn’t a requirement.
The Insanity of it All:
compensation: $6.50 per 500 words
Let’s do the math. Come on, it’ll be fun(ny).
Forty articles at $6.50 per equals $260 a week. That’s right — you too can make far less than minimum wage by writing 20,000 words a week. 
Try this instead:

Planning Magazine

Planning is published 10 times a year by the American Planning Association. It offers news and analyses of events in planning (including suburban, rural, and small town planning, environmental planning, neighborhood revitalization, economic development, social planning, and urban design).

Needs: Planning runs full-length feature articles (including case studies and trends), short stories about newsworthy events, book reviews, news about APA activities, viewpoint essays, letters, and news of projects that are in the works. Length runs from under 500 for news pieces, 2,500 for features.

Pay ranges from $100 to $1,000 for articles, depending on length, and $50 to $300 for photographs and drawings.

Better workload, better pay. Better idea.

Writers, what jumps out at you in this that I may have missed?
How do you convince new writers to steer clear of these?

11 responses to “Writers Worth: This Job Not That Job”

  1. Paula Hendrickson Avatar
    Paula Hendrickson

    Silly me. I misread the first line. I thought it said “freedom of,” not “freedom from.”

    Right. Being pressured to crank out 10-40 “articles” per week sounds soooo much better than actually seeking your own clients. Why anyone would reply to an listing like this—other than to waste the poster’s time—is beyond my comprehension.

    1. lwidmer Avatar
      lwidmer

      LOL I LOVE your misread! That’s the actual truth, Paula!

  2. Devon Ellington Avatar
    Devon Ellington

    These ads get more and more demeaning. 10-40 articles a week? $6.50 per 500 words? Revolting.

    A non-writer actually sent this ad to me, thinking I would think it was a “good opportunity” because, you know, it’s “easy” to knock out 40 articles/week. I responded that $6.50 MIGHT get them the title of the first piece.

    (Headdesk)

    1. lwidmer Avatar
      lwidmer

      Seriously? THIS is a good opportunity? Lord, that non-writer needs to get out into the world. There’s no one anywhere making $6.50/hr. in any other job. That comment is either from someone who’s privileged or clueless (perhaps both?).

    2. paula hendrickson Avatar
      paula hendrickson

      Someone replied on Twitter after I tweeted a link to this post, pointing out $6.50/article might be considered decent pay to native-English speakers living in other countries. Um, maybe if they demanded even higher wages the rest of us wouldn’t suffer.

    3. Devon Ellington Avatar
      Devon Ellington

      Exactly.

    4. Devon Ellington Avatar
      Devon Ellington

      Both. Definitely both. The same individual said potential employees have “no right” to try to negotiate an offer and should be “grateful’ they got one in the first place.

    5. Paula Hendrickson Avatar
      Paula Hendrickson

      That sounds like a troll from one of the places making low-ball offers.

  3. Suzie Q Avatar
    Suzie Q

    Shitty offers and listings seem to be coming out of the woodwork lately…I’ve been seeking out work for the first time in a while and I’ve had some “interesting” offers. One was for a science writing gig. They wanted 5 YEARS of relevant experience. When they got back to me the pay was $400 for what I estimate would be about 40 hours of work!!! I had to write back to confirm, sure I was misunderstanding. Then last week I was offered another gig as a contract writer. I read the contract and was appalled. There was a non-compete clause (which I won’t sign because I work in a single industry). Worse, there were clauses letting the client request unlimited revisions, rewrite your work as they see fit and withhold payment if they decide to do that, and withhold payment if you don’t answer emails in a certain amount of time. Ummm…no thanks. I’m sure they’d be a PLEASURE to work with just based on that! The disrespect they have for their writers came across loud and clear.

    1. lwidmer Avatar
      lwidmer

      You’re kidding, Suzie! That’s nuts. Just nuts.

      So you basically have to be pedigreed, certified (maybe not in the way they intend, but I digress…), and educated beyond belief just to make less than minimum wage? I just saw one that expected Masters-level education for $400 job. Right.

      Next!

    2. Devon Ellington Avatar
      Devon Ellington

      What a nightmare!