This Job, Not That Job: Learning Via Collage

Sometimes I see one job posting that’s so bad, it sets my hair on fire.

Sometimes I see several.

There are so few hours in a day (or a life), so instead of examining them one by one, I thought I’d pull out elements from some of the worst.

We can learn from these. Mostly, we can learn what to look for and what to avoid.

Let’s get right to it.

Copy editing

Looking for an experienced copy editor for a 36,000-word book on (topic).

I will require, and pay for, sample edits.
Pay: $2.5 – 3.5 per 250 words

Why this smells — Why mask the pay like that? Why not just say “$360-504”? Someone is trying to hide the fact that for 36K words and about 30 hours of your life, you’re getting paid mere hundreds.

Uh, no.

Moving on. This one came via LinkedIn:

I need a report on 4 survey papers about data privacy on social network I’ll provide the papers

Request from: Student at xxxx University

Why this smells –You don’t need to see the pay rate (there isn’t one listed) to know this is not cool. This kid wants you to do his/her homework. And I wouldn’t wait for payment because what student has money? I would never help someone cheat their way through college. I worked my ass off to earn my degree — so should they.

But that’s not the worst of it. Oh, no it’s not.

Proofreader (English speaking)

A 19,000-word book on (specific craft). Need it to read well for native English speaker audience.

Pay: $0.021-0.024 per word.

Why this smells: If you’re not wearing your glasses, or if you have something in your eye, you’re going to miss the fact that this “job” is paying you 2 to 2.4 cents per word, NOT 21-24 cents per. You can almost forgive them for the formatting as they are foreign. Almost. They’re still paying far too little. If that were 21 cents a word, it becomes a little enticing. But not much.

This one is in plain English, but that doesn’t help matters:

Need proofreader for a 63K-word book. Financial topic, and the book is written for the consumer. I need it in two weeks, and you must understand financial jargon.

Pay: $756

Why this smells: How long does it take you to read a novel of that length? A week? Two maybe? Now add the fact that you’re reading a book that may/may not be in good editorial shape, but you still have to slow down to do the job correctly. Oh, and what’s with the strange pay rate? Not $750 or even $760, but $756? Huh? Smells to me like someone used a calculator to get as close to 1 cent per word as they could. Because that’s what this pays.

Next!

Then again, this one is probably the most insulting one I’ve seen for a while:

Professional Bloggers to Work as Sales Representatives

An exceptional opportunity to make a lot more than what bloggers and writers can usually make.

No pay listed. In fact, that’s the entire ad right there.

Why this smells: First, they retooled the position name because they wanted to post this on a blogging job board. Strike one. And they’re trying to hire sales reps by telling you on this same job board that you’ll make more money in sales. If I owned that board, I’d yank that ad so fast. Way to insult both the bloggers and the site owners.

Still, there are other ways to insult people, as this job posting demonstrates:

WEEKLY WORK! Romance Book Writers Wanted!

Our current rate is $15 USD per 1,000 words with plans for an increase at some point in the future. Looking for a long-term commitment, eager and available to work and can comfortably deliver a minimum of 15,000 words a week. (Projects are from 20k to 150k words- Longer projects will earn you as much as $2,250 and shortest projects earn you a minimum of $300 USD).We are looking for experienced ROMANCE fiction writers.

Finally, you must also be okay with not getting credit for your writing as this is a ghostwriting position.

Why this smells: The exclamation points alone tell me all I need to know, but let’s go ahead and state the obvious. You’re basically working for less-than-minimum wage to put out books for people who will make a ton more on it than you will. And you’ve given up royalties and authorship.

And then there’s the absolutely weird:

Help with “personal” research

I’m looking for someone to help me with my list of things to do. This will include some research and possible phone calls. Compiling the data (probably in word) and printing for me.

I’m paying $15 an hour. It could be anywhere from 7-20 hours total…. I will give more details when we talk. Please text Only (I will not answer emails) with your name, a short description of your experience and times your’re available. I’m looking for someone available during the day before 2:30.

Why this smells: That one just reeks of someone trailing a spouse, doesn’t it? And why is this posted under “Writing Gigs” on Craig’s List? Besides, either someone doesn’t understand the implications of using quotations around “personal” or they do, which I think it just damn creepy.

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I can go on, but I do need to get some work done this week. So let’s see how we can improve our fortunes:

AARP magazine is a leading publication for people 50 and older. Needs health, personal finance, travel and more.

Pays: $2 a word for print; $1 for online

Why this doesn’t smell: It’s one of the best rates I’ve seen for magazine work, and they’re not asking for everything from blood samples to writing samples just to be considered.

Writers, what have the worst job postings you’ve seen taught you?
Have any of the job postings you’ve seen left a permanent impression?