This Job, Not That Job

A late start today.

Maybe it’s something about the change in season, the warming up of the atmosphere, the budding flowers …. maybe that’s what brings the lousy job offers out in droves.

Whatever the reason, the bad jobs are floating to the surface with alarming regularity right now. The This Job, Not That Job feature here is the most active it’s been in ages, and it’s all thanks to you guys, who are finding and forwarding the offers that should serve as warnings to us all.

Today’s installment comes from our own Jenn Mattern. It’s bad, but not in the way we normally talk about. This one just leaves a person hunting down the pepper spray.

Take a look.

Hiring awesome part-time wonder-woman assistant with writing prowess!

Hi there! I need serious help doing tasks I don’t want to do/procrastinate and I need a wonder woman who is super smart and dedicated, writes super well, has done really well in school 3.8gpa and above, and knows how to get stuff done to help motivate me by being there with me as I work and independently helping me with my to do lists and tasks and cultivating my network and calendar and is creative at coming up with solutions to difficult problems.

Please submit in your response:

• a copy of your college transcript (I am looking for A students)
• a copy of one of your best writings, can be essay, short story, you decide
• a 2 minute video of you saying hi introducing yourself and telling me 3 things about you
• some screenshots of what your current calendar and to-do lists looks like and how they are organized

Write for me a 500 word response of anything you can think about starting with the words: “I remember”

Pay DOE. Work will sometimes be in person, sometimes via skype, I’m based out of ….

(Inhale) Ready for this? Let’s start with the post title:

Hiring awesome part-time wonder-woman assistant with writing prowess!

What stands out to you? Yep, the word woman. Any time the female gender is stressed on this kind of job, one of two things could be happening:

• Someone is stuck in the wrong era (really? Only women can do admin work?)
• Someone is looking for a date

Could it be that the poster is a woman who is uncomfortable around men? Sure. But since the gender of the job poster isn’t mentioned, would you take that chance?

Let’s skip over the “Hi there!” as it’s just plain strange to see in a job posting.

Then there’s that next sentence. Goes on for days, doesn’t it? Clearly, the person does need a writer. But this stuck out to me:

a wonder woman who is super smart and dedicated, writes super well, has done really well in school 3.8gpa and above,

Okay, why a woman? Again, that just sounds creepy. Then there’s the 3.8 GPA. Someone is looking for a college student — a female college student — without directly saying it. Why? And why does GPA matter at all to help someone “with my to do lists and tasks and cultivating my network and calendar and…”? Anyone?

This part of that same sentence:

to help motivate me by being there with me as I work

Um, anyone just have that chill run down the spine a little? Anyone besides me? I’m not quite sure what “motivate me” entails. Nor do I really want to know, I suspect.

Let’s move on to the bulleted list of required items:

• a copy of your college transcript (I am looking for A students)

Why? Again, no mention of why. If it’s for that “writes super well” requirement, that’s chasing a rabbit down a fox hole. I know plenty of A students who can’t write well. They’re called normal. If they want an A student for writing, ask for a Journalism, English, or Creative Writing major.

• a copy of one of your best writings, can be essay, short story, you decide

Why? How has this person shown any ability to judge good writing from bad?

• a 2 minute video of you saying hi introducing yourself and telling me 3 things about you

Okay, that’s just creepy. Why a video? Why not interviews? Why tell anyone three things about you? Something smells really, really bad here.

• some screenshots of what your current calendar and to-do lists looks like and how they are organized

We’ll just skip over the grammar mistakes here (they are looking for a writer type, after all) and get to why anyone would think a college-level student — a female — would have a robust calendar and to-do list. What’s it going to say? “Get history paper started.” “Meet Marni for beers at The Underground.” “Bon Iver concert.”

Yep, basically it gives this poster a snapshot of every place that female is going to be for the next few weeks.

If you didn’t have a skeevy feeling from it at the beginning, I bet you do now.

So obviously, this isn’t a job most of us here would even qualify for (assuming this person is looking for a young female college student). But your sister might. Or your niece. Or your daughter. Ew.

Here’s where you point them instead:

Starbucks

Wendy’s

Kelly Services

Look, any job with a legitimate business is worlds better than a job with sketchy details, odd requirements, and that feeling you can’t shake that someone may be setting up their next stalking victim. Any college-aged female is vulnerable to the nut jobs that are setting the scene to do them harm or harass them in some way.

Do I think the original poster is that kind of person? I can’t say that. I just know the red flags in that post, while possibly purely unintentional, are enough of a warning for me to want to tell others to avoid it until there’s more information on who this is and what their business is. And don’t trust anyone at their word — verify all information.

Writers, have you ever been in a sketchy situation when responding to job ads or when working with someone?
What advice do you have for young women who are looking for work right now?