This Job, Not That Job

Ah, Spring, when a young writer’s fancy turns to thoughts of ….

Work. Finding work. Hey, when aren’t we finding work?

Alas, for every new bud pushing through the ground right now, there are an equal (if on excessive) number of lousy job offers making their way to your handy job board.

Which begs the question — why use a job board at all?

But I’m getting ahead of the conversation.

Thanks once again to Sharon Hurley Hall, writer and blogger extraordinaire, for passing along one really awful post she stumbled across in her travels ’round the blogosphere.

This one’s bad. Really bad. And for me, it elicited a head-scratcher moment.

Without further delay, I bring you this installment of This Job, Not That Job.

(I omitted the intro, which was trying way too hard to be pithy and cool — red flag #1)

We run an awesome blog product, and we’re looking for freelance writers who want to gain real-world experience writing content for our clients across all sorts of industries.

Are you business savvy? Do you have a knack for researching niche topics? Do you live and breathe writing and content marketing?

If so, we’d like to chat with you!

Why We’re Awesome to Work With:

• You’ll fill your portfolio with a variety of professional writing samples
• We have high quality standards, which means awesome training – you’ll learn a ton
• Work from wherever you want (as long as we can reach you)
• There is PLENTY of work to go around, and no cap on what you can write
• No need to hustle for clients, chase payments, or pitch with no promise of pay
• A variety of interesting topics are always available
• We recognize talent and promote from within
• Kickass bonuses and incentives
• Quick, consistent pay
  – 500 words = $16
  – 1000 words = $28
  – 1500 words = $38
  – 2000 words = $5

……..

Lots to unpack here.

First the intro: I can’t include it as it identifies the company in nearly every word. Let’s just say they’re impressed with how clever they are. In general, I’d say this is a company that’s in love with itself. Not necessarily a bad thing, but the attempts at being clever put this cynical writer off.

We run an awesome blog product, and we’re looking for freelance writers who want to gain real-world experience writing content for our clients across all sorts of industries.

Can you spot the red flag(s) in this one? Come on, you know the drill by now. You’re good at this. Where is/are the problem(s)?

• We run an awesome blog product: they seeing it as a product, not an information source. For me, that’s a flag.
• We’re looking for freelance writers: plural. Plural means they’re leading with quantity. They’ve just revealed their intent — to push out tons of content.
• Who want to gain real-world experience: The kiss of death. Boom! There goes your hope for a decent paycheck.
• For our clients across all sorts of industries: Oh geezuz. They’re a content mill.

That last point– it could be argued that this is a marketing firm contracted to provide content for their clients. But usually, marketing firms don’t hire in bulk. Also, they don’t hire all at once for every single client.

Are you business savvy? Do you have a knack for researching niche topics? Do you live and breathe writing and content marketing?

Normally, this sentence alone wouldn’t be a problem. Except, you already know they might not be paying well, and that quantity is the goal.

Why We’re Awesome to Work With:

Good grief, can they give the self-love a bit of a rest?

• You’ll fill your portfolio with a variety of professional writing samples
• We have high quality standards, which means awesome training – you’ll learn a ton

I put these two together because it tells you so much about the job and the compensation. You’ll fill your portfolio is another way of saying “You’ll get tons of exposure.” Uh, did they not just ask if you had business and research skills? So is this a beginner job now? Those high quality standards they speak of apparently don’t include proper hyphenation, so don’t expect to learn a ton. And that awesome training doesn’t come with an explanation, or a guarantee, for that matter.

• Work from wherever you want (as long as we can reach you)

Oh f*&k. No. They just promised you, freelance writer, the “perk” of working from anywhere. You know, like you do already. Worse, they want to “reach” you. Big waving red flag — they’re hinting at monitoring you or at best, pestering the hell out of you while you attempt to write for them.

• There is PLENTY of work to go around, and no cap on what you can write
• No need to hustle for clients, chase payments, or pitch with no promise of pay
• A variety of interesting topics are always available

PLENTY of work is a content mill. Plain and simple. No cap means you damn well better be ready to write yourself into a stupor, because they need PLENTY of work.

No need to hustle for clients means the rate is about to go waaaay down. And the lack of pitching with no promise of pay line is meant to make you think you’ve just hit the gravy train, when in fact, you may be hit by it. And that variety of interesting topics is another euphamism for “you aren’t getting paid what you’re worth.”

• Kickass bonuses and incentives

Ooo! Do I get a bonus for knowing that “kick-ass” gets a hyphen? Again, you’ll learn so much.

• Quick, consistent pay
  – 500 words = $16
  – 1000 words = $28
  – 1500 words = $38
  – 2000 words = $50

Hold. The. F&*king. Phone. Yes, my friend, you can write — and learn while working from wherever you want — for a stunning $16 per 500 words.

That’s 3 cents a word. Three.

And if a writer is dumb enough to write more for them, it gets worse — 2,000 words works out to …. 2.5 cents a word. That’s right. Writers are being paid LESS for more work.

Show of middle fingers — how many of you are thinking this is a bad idea?

Try this instead:

The Sun

Publishes nonfiction, fiction, and poetry. Favors personal writing, but also looking for provocative pieces on political and cultural issues.

Surprise us; we often don’t know what we’ll like until we read it. (My note– This means you can write whatever appeals to you.)

Nothing longer than 7,000 words, no minimum length.

Writers, what else can you spot in the first job listing that is a red flag to you?
What’s the lowest price you’ve ever worked for? What were the conditions? Would you do it today?