What I’m listening to: Die Like A Rich Boy by Frightened Rabbit
It’s been a few months since we’ve done the This Job, Not That Job tribute to the worst jobs of the moment. It’s not for lack of material.
Today’s candidate for the Worst Job on the Internet comes via Jenn Mattern. Jenn spied this particular job posting, masked as a decent deal, and sent it over. I deleted identifiable info — no point in promoting what shouldn’t be promoted.
Without further adieu, I give you this week’s cruddy offer:
Experienced Freelance Copy Writer (industry deleted)
Hi! We are totally redoing our website from the outdated, out moded, weak marketing tool that it is now to reflect our industry leading status and attitude.
(Industry info deleted)
[THERE IS A TRUE/FALSE SURVEY LINK EMAILED TO EVERY APPLICANT. PLEASE FILL THAT OUT.]
Our website (multiple pages), sales process, and case studies (including new ones) need fresh copy to convert leads.
I’d like to see samples of your work, especially around (industry).The scope of work is as follows:
1) Copy for 14 webpages
2) Copy for 5 sales follow up emails (when a prospect contacts us to convert them)
[THERE IS A TRUE/FALSE SURVEY LINK EMAILED TO EVERY APPLICANT. PLEASE CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER.]
3) Copy for re-writing three case studies and fourth new case studyThis is for copy writing so of course include a cover letter. We want to read your writing!
Our budget is $1100 and our time line is 4/2/18 for a full first draft. We do have weak copy to suggest what we do. We need your expertise to showcase our abilities and convert leads.
I don’t typically bitch about bad spelling in ads because it just proves these people need us. So I’ll overlook the obvious misspellings and sentence structure issues.
What I won’t overlook is what you shouldn’t, either:
- Hi!: Oh, why does this make my toes cringe? Why exclamation points and false excitement? (Okay, I lied — a little bitching about sentence structure.) Obviously, this isn’t an established organization. It rather screams “I’m doing this out of my den and aren’t I just soooo cool?”
- THERE IS A TRUE/FALSE SURVEY LINK EMAILED…: Wait. Say again? A survey? Why exactly?
- Our website … need: Lied again. They’re killing me with the grammar.
- Copy for 14 webpages/copy for 5 sales follow up emails/copy for re-writing three case studies and fourth new case study: That hurt to write. So look carefully at the scope of work. Really quickly, calculate in your head how many hours it would take you. Now use the calculator and figure what you’d quote these people for that job. Got it? Let’s go to the next point…
- Our budget is $1100: Okay, stop laughing for a second. Yes, they want what would take me about 22 hours if I were working fast and the copy were in good shape. However….
- Our time line is 4/2/18 for a full first draft: Ah. It’s a rush job. So now my fee is going to increase, right? Wrong! They’re telling YOU what you’re making. Also, they’re not telling you what they consider to be a “full first draft.” Of the website? Of a case study? Of everything? Who knows? At least the copy will most likely be in decent shape.
- We do have weak copy to suggest what we do: Nope. The copy isn’t in decent shape. In fact, anyone who admits the copy is “weak” is admitting that you’re about to be handed bullet points, convoluted email notes, and/or scribbled-and-scanned napkin directions.
A good number of freelancers are going to be drawn to the $1,100 fee they’re offering. However, a quick dissection of the project scope versus what you normally charge puts this job right up there with the worst of the worst. Add the rush order to the mix (over the Easter holiday, no less) and suddenly this thing smells to high heaven.
Quite a lot of work and sacrifice for the price, isn’t it?
Try something like this instead:
High Country News
Nonprofit magazine covering ongoing story of the modern American West through coverage of its environment, natural resources and diverse communities and in the belief that the West holds lessons of national and global importance. Feature articles can run over 2,400 words and payment is between 50 cents and $1.50 per word.
Even at 50 cents a word, you’re getting $1,200 for a defined job. No guesswork.
Writers, what’s the worst you’ve seen?
2 responses to “This Job, Not That Job”
A couple of weeks, ago, on Ink-Dipped Advice on the Fearless Ink site, I wrote about ads that turn off writers, especially those that don’t really want a writer but a combo of secretary/bookkeeper/receptionist, et al, which is what a lot of the ads in my area demand. This past week, I wrote about some of the things that ads should include – like what the business is about, a realistic scope of the job, etc.
Frankly, many ads turn me off at this point. I’ll look at magazines for submission guidelines, but at this point, I research companies that interest me and then prepare LOIs, unless I see something on a major site that is well within my price range.
I’m tired of people who don’t understand what we do or respect it trying to get away with conning work out of people and not paying a fair price. Just done.
I’m right there with you, Devon. In the few minutes I spent trying to find a counterpoint to this ad, I was instantly depressed by what passes for a “job offer” these days. I don’t know why anyone would spend time sifting through those boards. The only thing you get for your trouble is depression and a sense of worthlessness.
I understand budgets. And this poster may have just that much to work with. But like you said, it’s not respectful to expect any writer to bust their arses over a holiday weekend for that little. Maybe someone could do part of the job for that price, but there are far too many red flags in that post for my liking.
The LOI, all the way. We are soul sisters in that matter!