For someone with just a little work in the in box, I was busy yesterday. I did a ton of marketing, then fussed with my domain. Let me just say this – I’ve proven to myself yet again that either I should take notes or pay my kid to do the mundane Web stuff. I built what I thought was a nice-enough website.
However, it was a flash site (there go the search engine rankings), it had no flexibility beyond the template, and I paid for less functionality than I had with a static site. Worse, two folks couldn’t figure out that the page was actually a “book” and you had to click on it to turn the pages. There was no indication on the site, nor could I edit the template to even add “click here.” It had to go.
I intend to move this blog to a more user-friendly place (WordPress), but with the way my technical life was going yesterday, I refrained. I’m still without my website, but that’s because I’ve yet to figure out the magic ingredient at GoDaddy.com that will allow me to put my DNS server in. I think it’s there, but until the servers update, I won’t know. So if you’re looking for my website, you’re not going to see it just yet.
I was thinking about Monday’s post and how much fear factored into the aspiring-not-doing thinking. Truth is we fear things that probably won’t happen. That doesn’t help when you’re about to pitch your article idea to the magazine of your dreams and you don’t want to screw it up. It’s also little comfort when you’re about to tell your family you’ve decided you’re now a writer, even though you’ve got just a handful of essays to your name.
What does help is breaking down that fear into bite-sized chunks, then creating a process that helps you push the fear aside and get closer to overcoming it.
Adopt a what-the-hell attitude. It’s how I got my job at the magazine – by looking at that four-page press release and figuring I’d give it a shot and fear-be-damned. Tell yourself you’ll give it a shot.
Consider what you write as temporary. Open that Word document (a new one if you’d rather) and write past that sticking point in your plot knowing you can trash it, or type out a query letter imagining the editor is only paying you ten cents a word. You wouldn’t care if someone who underpays you doesn’t buy, would you? Use your best writing, but do it with the notion that it’s just an idea and you can go on to another at any time, because it is.
Get excited about what you’re writing. Let it bubble over onto the page. Clients and readers can see it, and they love it.
Change your verbs. You’re no longer “aspiring” or “starting.” You’re “doing” and “working on.” Think of your writing and your goals as already in progress in your mind. You can’t help but move forward if you’ve told everyone, including yourself, what you’re doing.
What you don’t understand, study. If you’re afraid to go for those press release jobs because you think they’re too hard, read up on what goes into a good release. Study style, presentation, and above all, words to avoid. The more you know, the less likely you’ll let fear get in your way.
How do you push past fears? What was the last fear you overcame? How did you do it?
My favourite is the "Adopt a what-the-hell attitude" because you can always stop what you're doing if it doesn't work. It's got me good results over the past year.
I find Go Daddy's commercials so offensive I won't give them a penny. That, and the fact they can't actually DO what I need them to do with websites.
I'm looking into moving everything over to Fat Cow, once I pay the guy at the Mac place to release the files my current host is holding hostage. I like their plan and their flexibility, and can do my own design with iWeb.
If you're afraid of something, it's important to face it down and prove that you can defeat it. Fear as an excuse, when it comes to writing, is yet another indicator that this isn't the life for you. Go work for someone else and be "safe" and miserable.
Writing and freelancing take courage as well as determination. If you don't have courage, save yourself the agony.
Far too many people who say they "aspire" to write, don't. They don't actually want to write. They want to HAVE WRITTEN and reap the benefits. However, it doesn't get written on its own. Someone has to put it on paper first.
Take joy in the process, or find something else you like better.
Same here, Colin. It's how I got my first "big girl" editing position and it's how I managed a freelance career for eight years. Just saying "What the hell, why not?" allows you to shed the fear.
Devon, that's just it. There are those who are terrified who will eventually make the leap, but there are so many who just want to talk about changing and doing.
I stopped thinking about it and did it because I couldn't get that voice out of my head – the one that kept telling me I was a writer. That voice needed to be heard.
Sometimes, you see the fear through their questions of, "What if they say no/don't like it?
So what if they say no. Thank them and move on to someone else. Hearing no isn't that bad and if they offer some critique on your writing, then I say great! See if their complaints are warranted and change them if necessary.
That's exactly what they may be saying, Wendy. Good insight!
Lori, great advice as usual. I believe everyone has a point they must get past. For many it is the first step, but for me it is the full-time phrase. Part-time writer and full-time teacher is easy for me to handle. I want to be a full-time writer. As my neighbor always says, "it's good to want." My biggest hang-up is that I have a family counting on me to bring home money, and the teaching job has that security. I will let go and realize my dreams. Thanks for the encouragement.
Wade, there's a lot that goes into that decision, including how much cash you need to have stored away. If your wife and family are behind you on it, go in with both feet!
Let go when it makes sense. 🙂
Piggybacking on Wendy's comment, when an editor or client passes on an idea it gives you the opportunity to pitch them another idea.
The thing I realized early on is when an editor takes the time to "reject" you, they're also leaving the door open. Those who don't want to hear from you again simple don't reply. At all.
I'm sure everyone here gets this a lot: people saying how brave we must be for working without the safety net of a steady paycheck and all the perks that go with regular jobs. I've never viewed it as brave, since I've never been able to see myself doing anything else.
Hi Lori.
I just interviewed a woman who pitched herself to become a start-up's first in-house counsel, and I really liked her attitude. She said, "I already didn’t have the job, and the worst that could have happened was that I continued to not have the job. Don’t be your own worst enemy and make something not happen because you’re scared."
Amen, sistah!
My way of dealing with fear is just doing it. I MAKE myself do the thing I fear with a sort of, "OK, here goes" attitude. I may dither for a bit, but I always get to that jumping-in point.
Yeah, I'm with Colin – a what-the-hell-attitude gets it done.
Paula, good observation… any communication from a client or editor is usually also a chance to sell.
Amen, Paula. Amen.
Same here, Anne. What the hell gets more accomplished than "Gee, I wonder if I can…"
What the heck?!
I left a comment here earlier, and, poof! It's gone! Damn technology!
Anyway, I said I just interviewed a woman who had a great quote about fear. She pitched herself for a job–and got it.
She said: “I’ve learned not to be afraid of the word ‘no,’” she says. “I already didn’t have the job, and the worst that could have happened was that I continued to not have the job. Don’t be your own worst enemy and make something not happen because you’re scared.”
I really liked that reasoning, and it was a good reminder to me.
My policy about fear? I usually MAKE myself do the things I fear. Sure, I can dither a bit, but I'm a jumper-inner.
Those who never try never succeed.
Those who succeed have usually failed.
The difference is learning from your mistakes.
If you fail, pick yourself up, brush off the dirt,consider what went wrong, make the necessary adjustments and then try again.
Oh and Keep the Goal in Mind.
Great advice, John. Don't let failure become your final word on anything.
Sorry about that, Gabriella! You were lost in the Spam folder, but I rescued your post.
Good point – the job is yours to win, not lose. I just saw someone with whom I'd had a number of LinkedIn emails with post the job he was offering to the group. Naturally it was right after I'd given my price.
That wasn't my job.