Maybe it was because it was late on Friday or maybe it was because I had more sugar/less sugar than I should have, but I sat in this chair at 5 pm doubting myself. Yes, even we cheerleaders (or wannabes – former wallflower here) get the blues.
I can tell you how it began and what I was doing when the feeling grabbed hold. I was scanning job boards when I got this sense of “What’s the point?” It was just after I sent out a query to one particularly interesting posting that I suddenly felt… hopeless. Yes, hopeless. As in “Will I EVER find work again?” hopeless.
I’m not really surprised by it. I get that feeling every time I spend any amount of time on job boards. They’re just damn depressing places and I don’t know how anyone can spend day after day weeding through the gawd-awful job offers without wanting to take a sharp object through the forehead. Repeatedly.
It was a moment of weakness. A dear friend sent me a job listing she thought would fit. We both raised eyebrows when an automated response came in. My eyebrows shot through my hairline when I realized this response was almost word-for-word the same one I got a week ago when I responded to a different ad for a different website. It was one of those “Send us suggestions on how you’d fix this site” numbers. No promise of any work beyond, “If we like what we see, you’re hired!” bullshit lines. I passed. What a pathetic attempt to get free copy.
However, that got me searching on sites – just for fun, I thought – to see just how bad things really are. Then I started to need to find one gem among millions of piles of dung. There were a few, and one in particular is a possibility, but who knows if it’s still open? Enter malaise, hopelessness, depression.
That’s why putting more time into actively finding new clients is time well spent. Responding to ads may work, and occasionally does, but it shouldn’t be the main source of work for you. God, the way I was affected, I shouldn’t go near them again!
Tell the truth – don’t you get the same feeling of hopelessness when you search Craig’s List or one of those pay-to-search job sites?