Phrases That Are Just Wrong

Oh, you know you’ve come across some client gaffes and junk mail phrases that crack you up. Come on – share them here.

A few I’ve chuckled at:

“Highly seasoned professional” – Unless you’re the main course or you’re currently covered in marjoram, please. Don’t. (Client’s resume line)

“We’re better then the rest!” – Then the rest what? Oh, you mean THAN the rest. Learn simple English. Please. (Client brochure copy)

“We search pubic records…” – Oh. My. Word. Are you an executive search firm or a pornography site? It’s one of the reasons I hate Spell Check. Times ten. (Found in a brochure for a search firm)

“An end-to-end, fully scalable, robust cross-platform user-friendly solution.” – It may well be. But we stopped reading somewhere around the second buzz word. (Emails like this are frequent in my In Box)

“You’re child’s success is in the hands of our tutors!” – And with punctuation like that, I fear for my child. Big time. (Mailer that came to my child-free home)

“Special Offer: Get One American Airwline ticket free!” – It’s American Airlines. Plural. And without a “W.” Try proofreading that headline once in a while. (This one came in the mail to my husband yesterday)

“Beyond Incomparable.” – That’s just impossible. Can one be more incomparable than incomparable already is? (In a magazine ad)

What have you seen?

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  • devonellington June 25, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    I don’t answer ads that poorly structured. It’s a clear indication that the client will be more trouble than the payment’s worth.

  • Kimberly June 25, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    I think you’re right. Some of those errors made me cringe.

  • writtenexpressions June 25, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    When I see ads for writers or editors that include typos and grammatical errors, I often wonder if that’s part of the interview, a way of weeding people out early.

    Pretty much all typos get to me, but there are some unwritten words and phrases that really set my teeth on edge when I hear them: “irregardless” (especially when uttered by people who earn 5 times what I do), “impact” used as a verb (it may be grammatically correct, but ew), and the phrase “more unique”.

  • Doug Kyle June 26, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    I don’t have the quote, but the worst I’ve ever seen was by a co-worker who emailed a client about their “data suppository” rather than their “data repository”… it wasn’t her favorite client!

  • writtenexpressions June 26, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    HA! I used to work with a woman who would regularly send out emails saying she was “defiantly” going to do something when she meant “definitely”. Another example of a reason not to trust spell check!

  • Schraepfer Harvey June 27, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    Great Carlinisms. A tribute to George?
    What a laugh. Thanks.

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