Seems like a stupid question doesn’t it? But if you think about it, you’ve probably been the victim of someone who’s guilty of bad networking. Let me give you an example:
Years ago, a salesperson came to our house trying to sell us meat products. Mind you, she played it up nicely, saying the steaks were preserved in airtight plastic to assure freshness, but basically she was peddling laminated ribeyes. In farm country, no less. Give her points for trying, but she had her market ALL wrong. Someone living in an area surrounded by homegrown beef products isn’t going to jump at the chance to buy hermetically sealed rump roast. But that wasn’t her biggest mistake.
That came when I whipped out a calculator and figured out that the pressurized beef was going to cost us about $14 a pound. That’s a steep price even now, and we’re talking 1987. When I asked her why it was so expensive, she turned off the charm instantly. She closed her sales book, and without looking at us again, she said, “Well I guess this isn’t for you, then.” Gone were the smiles and the congeniality she’d shown us the moment we opened the door. Gone was the eye contact. Gone was any sense that we were worth her time. In fact, she was brusque with us and hurried to her car.
See, she didn’t understand the value of maintaining the relationship even though the sale disappeared. She didn’t figure that somewhere down the line when the market for press-n-seal meat dried up, she might be moved to take a job selling real estate or furniture or be in the position to ask for a reference of her sales technique. She simply closed the door on us. And she used a nasty little trick of whipping out the emotions in order to guilt us into lord-knows-what, for logically – sensibly – packaged meat that could stand the test of time was not something we would ever need.
So yes, there is a way to network incorrectly. If you network simply as a means of collecting names and contacts that you plan to pester for work in the immediate future, I don’t see much work in your future. If you network with the primary goal being to meet interesting people and to befriend others who may or may not use your services but who are good people in general, you’ll be more pleasantly rewarded. First, you’ll remove the anxiety of meeting people who are in the position to hire you, freeing you up to have a nice conversation. You’ll also realize that we’re all connected by common threads as humans, and it really doesn’t matter if that person can help you.
I remember working with someone who, if I had to give him a label, would be known as hyperactive neurotic. In the short time I knew him, he drove me not just up the wall, but through several layers of it. I was cordial to him, professional, and I only snapped once when we reached about the six-hour mark of his obsessing about why he was fired from the last job (I could’ve clued him in, but I prefer not to feed the animals). When we parted company, I was sure he’d never be heard from again.
Wrong. He contacted me, but in a surprise move, he had referred me to a friend of his who worked for what became my ongoing client. My patience and decency toward someone in the workforce paid off, despite my private wishes that he’d be stricken with mono and laryngitis all at once.
So network like you mean it. Network like a person who doesn’t need the work, but genuinely wants to know the person you’re talking to. I think your results might surprise you.
I agree completely. Networking is rarely for the present, but for the future. And the future could be tomorrow or years from now. I just had someone recommend me for a job, even though the last I worked with the guy was in 1998.
There are a lot of really great, fascinating people out there, and it’s wonderful to know them as people. It’s sort of like those who only look at someone they meet as a potential bed partner — they miss out on having a lot of great people in their lives in other capacities. It’s similar with business networking. If you only look at someone as a potential source of income instead of a human being, you miss out on a lot.
Also, I know I get sick and tired of feeling like people are always trying to pitch to me or get me to buy something. Sometimes I just want to hang out.
Regarding your comment on my blog this morning: My sense of this particular boys’ club is that they don’t want/don’t care about a female perspective. In their submission guidelines, they actually make fun of well-rounded, viable female characters, which was a huge turn-off for me. “We won’t deal with them in real life; why would we do so in fiction?” if it’s not a direct quote, it’s awfully close.
Um, in fiction I kill off the morons; unfortunately, in real life, I just try not to deal with them unless forced to! 😉
Devon, as always, you leave me laughing and wanting to hear more! :))
I’ve had similar experiences, Sue. It amazes me how many folks don’t realize networking is relationship building, not ticking off a to-do list.
One of my clients is an executive coach who uses the word “connecting” rather than “networking” because so many people network the way you describe.
Excellent point, Lori, and very well said!
Kindness goes a long way. 🙂
Smiles,
Michele