Later That Day, Post-Trauma….
Dear Abby was right – most of the things we worry about usually work themselves out. Of my three concurrent headache inducers today, two have managed to solve themselves. First, the software reviewer never shipped the software, so I get an automatic extension until it arrives to get the review done. Second, the overwrite to my husband’s website – almost solved. He said it was a site he rarely used any more. AMEN. I still have massive amounts of writing to do on the other project, but at least I have two fewer things to deal with. Whew!
However, I must stop right here and thank Microsoft. The specs of this particular project calls for a certain number of lines per page. Easy, I think. I open the document in Word and I click on the Help menu to find out how to get exactly that many lines per page. There it is! Only….it’s how to estimate lines per page in East Asian text? What the…?? Microsoft, in its infinite wisdom (insert snark here) has determined through what must have been years of research that the most important feature I could possibly need here in Pennsylvania, USA is a document I can quickly format to fit that Madarin I’ve been secretly speaking at the checkout counter at my local grocery store. No? Then you try explaining why there is no function built in to convert English – you know, that language the Microsoft programmers use at lunch time to laugh about how we “uninformed” masses don’t get their genius – to a lines-per-page total.
So my options are these: convert the entire document to Vietnamese or Japanese, or spend an hour working with the font size and line spacing functions in order to get my required words per page. Since I’m not fluent in anything other than a passing knowledge of French and Italian, I was stuck piecing together some type of system that may actually work if the stress from the task doesn’t do me in.
Once I completed the task, well stick a fork in me for I am fried like my mother’s bad pork chops in a cast-iron skillet. After losing all my patience and most of my desire to live, I did what any self-respecting writer would do – I closed up shop early and went out for tea. I got the chance to meet Ms. Kristen King, writer extraordinaire, and a fantastic person! I was already impressed with her long list of accomplishments – medical editor, successful freelancer, finalist in the Writer’s Digest Best Website Contest and a budding author. I am now more impressed with her as a person. I have truly met a woman with whom bonding is second nature. Kristen dear, you’re a doll and I love you and your spunk! Kristen maintains a kick-ass website at Inkthinker. If you haven’t read it, you’re missing out. At any rate, I held her captive in Borders Cafe for four hours and we talked as though we’d known each other from birth (that being impossible as I’m a bit long in the tooth compared to her). Nothing like a writing compadre to share the ups and downs with!
So, the fire’s are out and there are nothing but the remainders of glowing embers. Marshmallows, anyone?
Baby, here’s a stick, we’ve got some chocoalte, some smores, and a biiiig bottle of wine — after what we’ve been through, computer-wise, we deserve it.
Even thoough, right now, it’s 7:30 AM.
Darlin’, we all have days like that. Thank goodness the day after MINE I got to see you!
Kristen